Today officially marks the worst day of my life. Worse than losing a friend or any lover I could think of. Worse than breaking my bones or any disease or the most bizarre culmination of unhappy events. More than any lie or betrayal. I feel like I've shut off. I can't cry. I can't hit. I can't even feel. Like my mind has shunted off feeling in order to preserve itself. Like I'm in shock.
I guess this means a lot of people got their wish. Guess it means I'm eyeball-deep in shit, which, if you know me, is pretty par for course. Guess it means I'm done for a while. I don't know when I'll write again. If I'll write again. If I'm going to do much of anything for a long goddamn time.
I think I need to be by myself for a while. People in general tend to complicate things. I haven't been spending enough time getting my own ship in order. I'm done with friends and meeting new people for a while. A long while. I don't much think I could bear company right now, anyway.
I don't want to talk about it. So if you're thinking about calling me so you can force me to do so, stuff it. I'm not interested.
So that's it. I'm done. I got nothing else to say.