Thankfully there's a place out in Cali that specializes in repair of this particular problem, and it'll only cost me fifty-five bucks plus one-way shipping to get the job done. Fifty-five bucks I don't need to spend, for sure, but my only other options involve trusting it to a local repair shop who very probably won't be so well-versed in this specific problem and will also charge me a sixty-or-better dollar "diagnostic fee" to tell me what I already know.
As long as I'm getting my system memory repaired, I figure I may as well upgrade, anyway. Another thirty to fifty I could stand to not spend, but it's money well spent in this case, I think, to go from 760M to 1.5-2G. Hopefully the shop I'm sending it to can accommodate me and get the RAM locally instead of having me order it from NewEgg and waiting for it to ship to me, first.
The gist of all this is that I'll be incommunicado again, hopefully for no more than a couple weeks, tops. Back soon, if fortune smiles.