The big news is that I finally saw a doctor about my head. The interview was brief, and I wasn't really asked anything I didn't expect or told anything I didn't know, but it confirmed for me certain notions that I'd been harboring for some time: primarily, that I seem to be a clinical case. Doc can't send me to a psychiatrist because my insurance won't cover mental health unless I've basically been self-injurious, but both the attending and my landlord - who's about a year shy of his doctorate in psychology - seem to indicate I'm a likely candidate for dysthymia, a low-grade, high-functioning form of depression that's characterized by pervasive and lasting feelings of hopelessness and despair that don't subside, nor do they mingle with manic symptoms or launch into full-scale depressive episodes. The word, "dysthymia", in fact means "bad state of mind", which I think pretty well describes me on any given day.
So for the last two weeks, I've been taking regular doses of sertraline, an SSRI more commonly called 'Zoloft'. The effects thus far have been interesting, but not what I'd call radical: I have more energy, I'm more focused, more motivated, generally less miserable, and perhaps most importantly, the pain in my arthritic knee has reduced significantly. Good news all around, I suppose, but I think I'm going to ask Doc for a higher dose and see how that works out. He seemed to indicate that it would be a likely course of action, anyhow, but he wanted to start small.
Anyway, that's all I have for now. Any of you who're also on meds or have experience on the mental health ride and might want to bring to my attention questions I should ask or things I should be wary of, I'm listening.